I should tell those of you that don’t know that I am the oldest of four children and the only girl and we grew up in the South with traditional Southern upbringing. Now traditional Southern upbringing means that there are boy things and girl things in life and never shall they cross, meet or come close together. I always thought this was terribly unfair since being the only girl meant that I was stuck with all the house stuff such as cooking, cleaning, being a gracious host, etc, etc. And as far as I could see, the boys didn’t do anything except take out the trash and do the lawn once a week and there were THREE of them to accomplish this. So lets get one thing straight – I was a terrible disappointment to my Mother because I hated cooking and was never what you’d think of as a Southern Belle.
Our father was a very strict disciplinarian and we knew better that to question him. My brothers and I have always said that when Dad said, “Jump!” we asked, “How high?” on the way up. To me, the worse punishment from him was to have him say he was disappointed in me. He expected perfection and I spent all my formative years trying to achieve it for him so he would be proud of me. It didn’t happen, (the perfection) but I tried. Physical punishment was rare in our home and our father never physically punished me. His rule was that you never hit women or girls under any circumstances. I didn’t realize how fortunate we were until much later in life.
We moved a lot because of Daddy’s work. Promotions took us to a new city about every year or two, so we became a self-sufficient family. By this, I mean we relied on each other for friendship, love and support. We also relied on each other for arguments and general nonsense. There were times when my brothers and I would stick together to save one of us from getting in trouble and other times – well, sometimes you just have to let the bad guy get his due!
We learned the basis things every kid growing up in the South learns:
You always answer adults with “Yes, man or sir” and “No man or sir.” There is never an exception to this rule.
No adult is ever called by his or her first name. It is always Mr. or Mrs. Or if they’re close family friends Aunt or Uncle, even if they’re no relation.
There are certain topics appropriate for dinner conversation. Politics and religion are not on the list of approved topics.
Everyone observes a “quiet time” after Sunday dinner (which is really lunch after church) so the babies can rest. This is just an excuse for the adults to take a nap.
You are kind and respectful to those less fortunate than you, but you do not socialize with them.
And the most important rule – You will always act like ladies and gentlemen and show no outrageous behavior in public. This includes holding hands with a girl/boy friend and God-forbid kissing in public!!!
I haven’t lived in the South for a long time now – have any of these rules changed?
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4 comments:
I experienced a lot of this because of my parents' upbringing: "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" were drilled into my brain; boys are still expected to be boys and girls, girls, so I've always been something of a disappointment to my dad, because I never was the stereotypical boy -- I liked to read and paint, but I never cared for sports or hunting, and I still can't tell an oak from a maple, much to his chagrin.
Friends of the family are still called "Aunt" and "Uncle," although many parents are teaching strict "Yes" and "No," these days, with nary a "ma'am" or "sir" in sight; and religion politics are still somewhat taboo topic at the dinner table, but bashing lib-ruhls and Muslims is always perfectly acceptable.
And outrageous behavior is now the norm. You can't walk down the mall without practically tripping over green-haired couples so pierced they look as if they lost a fight with a barbed-wire fence necking on the rails of the ice-skating rink. At least they cover themselves up, though -- the so-called socialites parade around in pants that would have passed for pajama bottoms in your day, and tops so tight you can see the outlines of the scars from their boob jobs.
Not that I'm complaining, mind you -- just noting now much things have changed. ;)
The south is still the south, and probably always will be. But, is that such a bad thing? I don't think so................
I will say this about the South: when my directionally challenged father and I were lost in New Orleans, a couple who we had asked for help literally got in their car and drove us all the way across town to our destination. You don't find that kind of charm all over these United States.
I love this! I've long admired the civilized southern upbringing, and the humor with which is is regarded by those submitted to it! I can't wait to read more!
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